Buffalo for sale!
There, I said it. You heard it.
(I think he heard it, too)
Shh, we’ll talk over here—
Oh, and please watch your shoes.

No, there’s naught at all wrong with him.
Why do you ask?
He’s buffalo’s buffalo!
A regular Joe’s Joe…um…of a buffalo.
Or bison.
We’ll examine him skeptically, though—
a reasonable task,
Perfectly, perceptibly so
For a buffalo purchaser.
(and future household refurbisher)

Cash is preferred, but I’m willing to trade.
So please be assured
He’s got all of the qualities—
The size and the weight and the mass
And the size and the heft and the girth
And the sass and the size—
And some of the other things, buffalo-wise,
You’d want in a sizable bison that’s worth…
…well, slightly less than I paid.

The smell, just to start,
Is as tart as you’d think, a stink
As distinct as his species’ own name.

His intellect? Oh, dear…let’s be delicate here.
To be perfectly clear:
He’s got a fine personality. Excellent, even.
Steven,
(the full name: he likes it said so)
Is no academic, though.

He’s a buffalo.

You kind of get what you see, right?
A great hairy beast, at the very least,
Whose kick is impressive as heck!
Wrecked the fridge and that rack.
Whacked the lamp,
And that couch used to be white.

Essentially an exemplary buffalo.
Bison, I mean.

Healthy appetite? I’d say
Less in the way
Of health than perpetual buffet.
No danger of starvation, eh?
I’ll even throw in some hay…
Hey! Hey!
Steven! Put that away!

Really can’t turn your back on him.
What was that acronym? B.I.S.O.N.?
“Buffalo is so—” OH NO!
Uggh. Not again.

Oh, I tell you,
He’s the absolute definition of a buffalo.
Or bison.
In the dictionary,
There’s a picture fairly
Similar to that bison there.

Steven, I mean.

An ungulate to the core! An herbivore
Unseen heretofore and, most likely,
Nevermore. At least on my score.

Steven is even more buffalo than I had imagined.
Maybe half as much again.
So much more buffalo
Turned out to be
Enough buffalo for me.
Too much buffalo stuff, honestly.

 For an apartment this size, I mean.

© 2025 Derek T. Leuenberger